Pa r e n t i n g is a n a t u r a l experience that comes with a mix of joy and a variety of challenging experiences as the training, nurturing and raising of kids is no easy task. The traditional roles of the father and mother are quite distinct yet complementary. For instance, we were taught in elementary school that the father has the sole responsibility of providing for the family while the mother is saddled with domestic duties such as: cooking, taking care of the children and ensuring a neat and habitable home.
With the wave of modernity, the complexities associated with socio economic realities have made the cherished traditional roles of parenting difficult or impossible, causing the roles of the father and
that of the mother to be highly intertwined or interrelated. Put differently, it is not easy to ascribe any specific role either to the father or mother in this ever-evolving world. To be sure, in today’s society, the father is not necessarily the sole provider neither is the mother exclusively charged with domestic roles. Again, it is primitive to s ay “women’s education ends in the kitchen.” Statistics shows that the population of successful women in the workforce and high- profile professions in the society is on the increase.
In the light of the foregoing, a flexible approach to parenting wherein the father and mother work i n t e r d e p e n d e n t l y w i t h o u t necessarily insisting on the uniqueness of their traditional roles is best. Jointly, they undertake r e s p o n si b l e p a r e n t i n g b y performing the basic roles of providing food, clothing, shelter and education for their kids. In the interest of the growing child, parents can be m u c h m o r e responsible if they adopt the principle of comparative advantage in their s h a r e d responsibilities and serve where they are best suited.
Regrettably, on matters of education and the inculcation of morals, research has shown that contemporary fathers hardly get involved. Most of them are glued to their primary traditional role of making ends meet, so that mothers are left with the workload of nurturing and inculcating acceptable values in the kids. While this practice is not entirely wrong, it is pertinent to ask, are the present-day mothers (or working-class mothers) c a p a b l e o f s h o u l d e r i n g t h e s e responsibilities alone?
Well, the effectiveness of parenting lies in fathers getting involved. Beyond providing financial and material support which is no longer exclusive to them in today’s world, the father, jointly with the mother needs to spend what we call
Quality Time with their kids. By Quality Time we mean engaging the kids in meaningful activities designed to build
their emotional and social well-being such a s l o v e , c o u r a g e , s e c u ri t y a n d communicative abilities. The impact of quality time comes with parents:
• Studying academic materials with their kids
• Engaging the kids in resourceful
conversations on contemporary social issues
• Playing mind games with the kids
• Joining the kids for sports and other recreational activities
• Attending PTA meetings
• Encouraging the child to do their assignments and research projects
• Tracking the child’s academic performance on a weekly basis
• Checking their termly results to evaluate their performances and charging the kids for excellence
• Providing moral cum spiritual counselling, etc.
Not worthy is the f a c t that the effectiveness of Quality Time is tied to Quantity Time. This means a reasonable degree of time is required to achieve the meaningfulness of the above-named activities. Otherwise, the activities associated with quality time will be skeletal and unrealizable. So, with the coordinated effort of both parents and their devotion to quality time, the home becomes a solid base for character formation which is critical to the personality of the growing child.
If we agree that the home is the foundation for nurturing sound minds, with responsible parenting as the driving force,, it follows that sound character and academic excellence in school largely depend on the values inculcated in youngsters from the home front. Afterall, charity, as it is said, begins at home. For emphasis, it is therefore safe to conclude that the achievement of sound personality, and academic excellence in school is a function of responsible parenthood.
Dr. Ogwuche, Ezekiel
Principal
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